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                <text>A sepia photograph  of the Glenn Street School,  third grade class, taken on the front steps of the building. The photo is adhered to a gray decorative mat with an embossed border. A hand written key, on the back provides a list of students in the photo as well as the names of the teachers&#13;
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Condition:Very Good. The mat and photo appear to have been exposed to high humidity in storage at some point and that has led to both warping lightly , so it does not lay flat.&#13;
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Size: 7" x 9"&#13;
&#13;
&#13;
FHS-Kyle Leach</text>
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                <text>E T Wilson Groceries Flour Grain Hay Straw Farmington NH Calendar </text>
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                <text>A 1919 promotional calendar from  E T Wilson Groceries, Flour, Grain, Hay, &amp; Straw, Farmington, NH Calendar.  A glamorized,  staged home exterior is the scene of the depiction at the top of the calendar. Three people can be seen: a woman in day workwear, standing at her door, a police office, in uniform seated by the door, and a delivery person, carrying a block of ice with ice pincers moving toward the other two.The scene and the calendar itself both have a geometric border. The rip-off paper calendar at the bottom has been used through March of 1919.&#13;
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The header of the calendar says: "Compliments of E T Wilson Groceries Flour Grain Hay Straw, Crockery, Paint , Oils, &amp; Varnishes. Farmington NH." &#13;
&#13;
The scene is labeled as: "931, from life photo, CoolWwaves Coming copyright F.A.S." &#13;
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This is a digital file and does not exist in the physical museum collection&#13;
&#13;
FHS-Kyle Leach</text>
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                <text> E T Wilson Groceries Flour Grain Hay Straw Farmington NH </text>
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                <text>Undated sepia photograph of the Odd Fellows Block on Main Street in Farmington, N.H. In focus is the three story building taken facing from Central Street toward Main Street, specifically focusing on the Odd Fellows Block and other buildings close to the intersection of Central and Main. The beloved metal fountain is in the original location dividing Central Street from Main in the middle, foreground. The block was erected in 1896 and that is proudly displayed on the building.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The W.W. Roberts store is on the left corner of the block. The store was a all purpose household goods and pharmacy. Items offered included, but were not limited to: sodas, cigars, film, confectionery, drugs, medicine, and rubber goods. An awning, which provides shade to the frontage of the shop is open in the photo. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The second W.W Roberts shop was at the center of the block. A full service women's clothier had two front display bay windows. Items offered included, but were not limited to: dry goods, home accessories, dresses ,skirts, hats, hosiery, gloves, and underwear. The shop has an awning similar to the other side of the Roberts store, but it is not open. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Attached to the right was the one story addition which held A.E. Putnam Shoe store on one side and J.F. Safford and Son watch, jewelry, and optical shop &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A horse drawn cart can be seen sitting in front of building and to the side as well. Electric poles and lines can be seen in front of the building. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The only business that can be seen via signage in the upper floors of the building is C. H. Pitman Insurance and Real Estate. C. H. Pitman was also a public notary. Advertising for Dr Garland's office can be seen in the next building over on the right. Dr. garland was a dentist. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The building suffers a severe fire in 1957 and then suffers another fire in 1964. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href="http://farmington.advantage-preservation.com/viewer/?k=odd%20fellows%20block%20fire&amp;amp;t=30323&amp;amp;i=t&amp;amp;d=01011955-12311963&amp;amp;m=between&amp;amp;ord=k1&amp;amp;fn=farmington_news_usa_new_hampshire_farmington_19570307_english_1&amp;amp;df=1&amp;amp;dt=10" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"&gt;View Part 1 of the 1957 Odd Fellows Block Article&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href="http://farmington.advantage-preservation.com/viewer/?k=odd%20fellows%20block%20fire&amp;amp;t=30323&amp;amp;i=t&amp;amp;d=01011955-12311963&amp;amp;m=between&amp;amp;ord=k1&amp;amp;fn=farmington_news_usa_new_hampshire_farmington_19570307_english_7&amp;amp;df=1&amp;amp;dt=10" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"&gt;View Part 2 of the 1957 Odd Fellows Block Article&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href="http://farmington.advantage-preservation.com/viewer/?k=odd%20fellows%20block%20fire&amp;amp;t=30323&amp;amp;i=t&amp;amp;d=01011879-12311976&amp;amp;m=between&amp;amp;ord=k1&amp;amp;fn=farmington_news_usa_new_hampshire_farmington_19641112_english_1&amp;amp;df=1&amp;amp;dt=10" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"&gt;View Part 1 of the 1964 Odd Fellows Block Article&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href="=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"&gt;View Part 2 of the 1964 Odd Fellows Block Article&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This is a digital file and does not exist in the physical museum collection.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;FHS-Kyle Leach</text>
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                <text>A black &amp; white line lithograph print of the J. F. Cloutman residence in Farmington NH encased with a wood frame under glass. The two story residence can be see, as can the front porch, side porch, and back and side additions. The home has extensive fretwork and balustrades and features many windows and several bay windows. The yard is well landscaped and tree lined and  is enclosed with an elaborate waist fence. A few people can be seen in the image, as well as a carriage being pulled by two horses.  The residence faces into Main Street and to the left of the house is School Street.&#13;
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Size: 9.5" x 11.5"&#13;
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Condition:Good. General wear and fading.&#13;
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&#13;
FHS -Kyle Leach</text>
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                    <text>lias been prepared for your use
as a part of our service
Courtesy of

C.

^ . Peaiiee

32 Central Street
Farmington, N. H.

&amp;' Son
funeral
U4omei
Robert Peaslee-Director
16 Main Street
Meadow Street
Union, N. H.
Sanbornville, N H
Telephone: 755-3535

on ^unerai
School St.
Alton, N. H.
Tel. 875-3311

^J4ome

��For families and relatives, the period of time between a death and
the tlnal disposition is a period of considerable confusion.
Few people have ever had the personal experience to know exactly
what has to be done at a time like this. It is for this reason that your
funeral director stands willing to grant you all the necessary counsel
and guidance needed during the next few days.
It is his wish in presenting you with Guidelines that it might offer
some assistance during this period of uncertainty.
The purpose of this book is to provide informative guidelines and
basic factors to be considered in the making of funeral
arrangements. Expressed thoughts found in the succeeding pages
are derived from extensive physiological studies of grief therapy, and
are in no way meant to influence a family's personal request.

Copyright©! 970,1st Edition
Copyright©! 973, Revised Edition
Copyright©! 978, Revised Edition
Guidelines Publications
P.O. Box 245
Stamford, New York, 12!67

�T A B L E O F CONTENTS
Page
Banks, Safe Deposit Boxes
Cemetery Plot
Guidelines
Monuments of Memorials
Certificate of Death
Cremation
Etiquette of Acknowledgment
Flowers and Other Memorials
Forms for Record Keeping
Automobile List
CheckHst of Future Obligations
Friends Who Called at the Residence
Friends Who Assisted
Memos
Pallbearers to be Asked
Record of Flowers - Mass Cards
and Memorials Received
Record of Food Received at the Residence
Record of Telephone Calls and
Telegrams Received
Relatives and Friends to be Notified
Sympathy Cards Received
Record Gifts of Food Sent to Your Home Unmarked
Funeral
Calling Hours
Children Attending the Funeral
Cost
Experience of Value
Presence of Body
Public or Private
Insurance
Legal Aspects of Death
Selecting A Lawyer
Social Security
Applying for Benefits
Benefits
Veterans
Benefits for Survivors of
When Death Occurs Far Away

5
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11
3
13
29
2
19
32
AS
15
14
31
22
33
21
16
26
33
2
3
12
1
1
1
3
4
6
7
6
8
14

�THE FUNERAL,
AN E X P E R I E N C E OF V A L U E
No man is an island. His death touches and affects his world of
relatives, friends, and associates in a direct and forceful way. In
arranging a funeral it is well to consider the feelings of others who
shared in or benefited by the life of the deceased. For sorrow shared
is sorrow diminished.
The funeral is a ceremony of proven worth and value for those
who mourn. It provides an opportunity for the survivors and others
who share in the loss to express their love, respect, and grief. It
permits facing openly and realistically the crisis that death presents.
Through the funeral the bereaved take that firm first step toward
emotional adjustment to their loss.
A funeral is an unique event in the life of a family. No two are
exactly alike. It should also be remembered that the funeral of every
man, famous or unknown, rich or poor, can be equally important for
those bereaved he leaves behind.
The funeral is one of the few personal events and ceremonies to
which none is invited but to which all should be able to come. In a
very real way, the funeral not only recognizes that a death has occurred, but it also is testimony that a life has been lived.
T H E PRESENCE OF THE BODY
A funeral with the body present gives identity and purpose to the
service. With the body present, a climate for mourning exists which
makes the sharing of sorrow natural. Without the body, expression
of sympathy may be forced, empty and unnatural for many people
and makes the acceptance of death difficult for others.
The funeral is a rite of separation. It confirms the reality of death.
This, psychiatrists say, is a necessary beginning toward healthy
adjustment to loss.
There are some who want to deny that a person has died and that
such a person's life on earth has ended. The presence of the body in
the casket actualizes the fact of death. Viewing the body serves to
reverse the process of denial while it promotes the acceptance of
reality.

P U B L I C OR P R I V A T E F U N E R A L
A public funeral gives the community a chance to offer its support
and share the sorrow of the immediate family of the deceased. An

1

�outstanding pastoral psychologist has written that "the funeral and
the varied events that surround the ceremony are for those who live
on."
A private funeral limits those who may attend. It arbitrarily shuts
out relatives, friends, associates and acquaintances who sincerely
want to bring comfort to the bereaved.

C A L L I N G HOURS
Funeral practices vary. In some areas the greatest number of
people pay their respects to the deceased and to the survivors by
attending the funeral service. In other places, the largest number
call at the funeral home or at the mortuary while the body is lying in
state. Some do both.
Sometimes attendance at the actual funeral service is not possible
because of the hour or day when it is held, but many people will want
to pay their respects during the so-called visitation period which may
be referred to as, calling hours - visitation - a wake - or a shivah.
Having the body lying in state with members of the family present
encourages sharing the experience of death and mourning. It is
gratifying both to members of the family and to those who care
enough to call.

F L O W E R S AND O T H E R M E M O R I A L S
Many persons wish to express their sympathy by sending flowers
or some other memorial in addition to extending their condolences
in person. Others do this because they cannot be present at the
visitation or service.
Those who wish to demonstrate their feelings should be able to do
it in the way they prefer. Flowers, for example, have a message all
their own. They add beauty to the casket setting and to the funeral
service. It is considered proper for the family to suggest a certain
memorial, but it should not be done in such a manner that any other
form of expression is excluded.
EXAMPLES:
(Good) In remembrance of Mary Jones those that wish may make
contributions to the building fund of the John Doe Hospital.
(Poor) Please omit flowers
No flowers
Send no flowers

2

�CHILDREN ATTENDEVG T H E FUNERAL
Authorities agree that it is not only correct to permit a child to go
to a funeral but, from approximately the age of seven, the youngster
should be encouraged to attend. The child needs to participate with
his family in offering his last respects to the deceased as well as to
express in his own way love and devotion. To shut him out of this
experience is to deny him a significant and meaningful life experience that can have important consequences for his future
emotional development. If the child is unwilling, however, he should
not be forced to attend a funeral or made to feel guilty because he
"let the family down." In any event, children should not be spared
knowledge about death.
THE CERTIFICATE OF DEATH
Your funeral director has the responsibility of seeing to it that all
the required statisitical information about the deceased, as well as
the place of interment or cremation, is placed on the original certificate of death.
He then in turn refers this official document to the deceased's
attending physician for his certification.
This certificate now becomes a permanent record with the
registrar of vital statistics in the town, village, or city in which the
death occurred.
The registrar, for a nominal fee, will issue to you certified copies
of the original death certificate which you and-or your attorney will
need for the following estate settlement purposes:
1. Insurance claims of all kinds
2. Veterans Administration benefits
3. The sale or transfer of real property
4. The sale of transfer of stock and bond certificates
5. Banking transactions
6. Motor vehicle registration transfers
7. Others
INSURANCE
Sometimes the mere word "INSURANCE" can be looked upon as
being complicated, but the filing of an insurance death claim is a
relatively simple procedure. The following steps should be taken by
the beneficiary of a deceased's insurance policy:
1. Contact if at all possible the InsuranceCompany's local office or

3

�agent in your area. If you are successful, they will handle the death
claim for you. CAUTION: Do not surrender the insurance policy
without an authorized receipt.
2. If there is not a company office or agent in the area, this claim
may be processed by mail.
3. Write a letter to the home office of the insurance company whose
name appears on the face of the policy. State the name of the
deceased, the date of death, and the policy number of the insurance contract. C A U T I O N : Do not send the policy in to the
company.
4. Enclose with the above letter, one certified copy of the original
death certificate.
5. Within a two or three week period the named beneficiary should
receive the face amount of value of the insurance policy.
6. The next of kin of the deceased should always check all other
possibilities of insurance claims including unions, fraternal and
other organizations the deceased belonged to that may offer a
death benefit.
T H E L E G A L ASPECTS O F D E A T H
The earthly possessions, known as the estate of the deceased, must
be distributed after his death. Any assets that are left must be used
to pay any debts, and any balance left must be lawfully distributed
after payment of estate or death taxes. If the deceased owned or
operated a business, the business must be administered and
maintained in an orderly manner or must be liquidated.
In order to accomplish this process of distribution, legal
proceedings are necessary to decide how any property should be
distributed and who is to be in charge of this distribution. Because
of the technical nature of these proceedings and all the complications involved in settling the estate and distributing the assets,
it is advisable that a lawyer be consulted.
Some, not all, of the major matters to be considered are listed
below:
1. Did the deceased have any property? Is there any real estate,
stocks, bonds, bank accounts, personal items, or other types of
property? Is this property held in the name of the deceased, or is it

4

�held jointly with someone else?
2. Did the deceased leave a Will? Where is the Will located? What
are the provisions in the Will regarding the distribution of the
property? If there is not a Will, what is the state law regarding the
distribution of the property?
3. If there is a Will, who was appointed the Executor of the Estate?
If there is not a Will, how can proceedings be brought to appoint
an Administrator? If a court is to appoint an Administrator, who
is the court to appoint?
4. Are the assets of the deceased subject to any state or federal estate
or death taxes? If the assets of an estate are less than approximately
$127,000.00, or $250,000.00 if there is surviving spouse, the estate is
not generally subject to the federal estate tax, but smaller estates are
often subject to State death taxes (the law varies from state to state).
Is a certificate of payment of taxes necessary to clear the title of any
Real Estate?
5. Is the deceased the sole owner of an automobile or trailer, or is
the vehicle owned by the deceased and another person? Does this
vehicle become part of an estate?
6. Is the deceased a sole proprietor of a business, in a partnership
with another person, or a member of a corporation doing business
under an assumed name? What are the provisions of the partnership or corporation contract in the event of death of one of its
members?

There are many other considerations that often arise, but a
competent attorney should be able to advise of any matters not
discussed above.

BANKS-SAFE D E P O S I T B O X E S
Because all banks are subjected to state and federal statutes
governing their operations, it is very difficult to satisfactorily define
the banking rules and regulations in any one given area. General
banking law also undergoes constant change from time to time
which makes it impossible to pin point local procedure in the event
of death of an owner of an account or safe deposit box.
It is recommended that the bank that holds an account or safe
deposit box of the deceased be contacted directly to find out the

5

�necessary steps to take for the release of their contents. Although it
may not be absolutely necessary, generally the services of a competent attorney is desirable to handle these matters.
SELECTING A LAWYER
The basis for selecting a lawyer for legal guidance and professional
advice should be made on past experience or of a personal acquaintance
nature. He should be selected for reasons of trust, confidence, respect
and the ability to effectively settle an estate in a reasonable length of
time. In the event you do not have any previous experience with a
lawyer, a close friend, your employer or even your funeral director
will be able to recommend a competent attorney to you.
SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS
When a person who has worked under the social security law dies,
some member of his family should get in touch with the social security
office. If you cannot come to the social security office because you
are housebound or hospitalized, write or telephone and a social security
representative will arrange to visit you.
Long delay in filing an application can cause loss of some benefits,
since back payments for monthly cash benefits can not be made on a
retroactive basis. Cash benefits to survivors arefiguredfrom the amount
of retirement or disability benefit of the deceased.
In most cases a lump sum death benefit is paid to the dependent
of a worker under the social security program. An application for a
lump sum death payment must usually be made within 2 years of the
worker's death.
Monthly payments are also paid to dependents when a worker
dies. These dependents are:

1. Unmarried children under 18 or between 18 and 22 if they are
fulltime students.
2. Unmarried children 18 or over who were severely disabled before
they reached 18 and who continue to be disabled.
y

3. A widow, regardless of her age, if she is caring for a child under
18 or disabled and the child gets payments based on the worker's
record.
4. A widow 60 or older even if there are no children entitled to

6

�payments.
5. A widow 50 or older (or dependent widower 50 or older) who
becomes disabled not later than 7 years after the death of the
worker or, in the case of a widow, not later than 7 years after the
end of her entitlement to benefits as a widow with a child in her
care.
6. A dependent husband or widower 60 or over.
7. Dependent parents 62 or over after the worker dies.
8. Others: Social security benefits are subject to constant change.
For this reason, if any question of elegibility arises, contact the
social security office.

SOCIAL S E C U R I T Y P R O C E D U R E
F O R APPLYING FOR B E N E F I T S
As many as possible of the following items should be obtained
prior to your visit to the Social Security office. Do not delay contacting the office because all of the items are not available.

1. Deceased's social security number.
2. Record of deceased's earnings, if any, in year before death.
Income tax return W - 2 is satisfactory.
3. Record of deceased's earnings, if any, in year of death. Approximate wages for that year and name of employer.
4. If deceased was drawing social security, what was done with the
last check? Was it cashed? If not, the Social Security Administration will reissue it to the family.
5. Approximate amount of funeral expenses.
6. Birth record of children under 23 years of age.
7. Marriage record of widow. (Not necessary if husband is survivor).
8. Social security numbers of those above (wife and children.)

7

�NOTE: Under the law and regulations, social security records are confidential. Information from your record may not be disclosed without proper authorization.
BENEFITS FOR SURVIVORS OF VETERANS
State veteran counselors and veteran service agency directors provide
specialized counseling on benefits available to the survivors of veterans
and servicemen, under the different programs established by local,
state, and federal laws.
Your funeral director may be able to offer guidance in making application for one or more of the following benefits:

BURIAL ALLOWANCE: An authorized federal government burial
allowance up to $300.00 is provided by the Veterans Administration to
the widow, children, parents, or any person who pays the funeral
expenses of an eligible war-time veteran, or certain peace-time veterans.
Claims must be filed within two years of permanent burial or cremation.
PLOT OR INTERMENT ALLOWANCE: Public Law 9343, enacted
June 18, 1973 provides for payment of an amount not exceeding $150
as a plot or interment allowance, in addition to the $300 basic (nonservice connected) burial allowance, only when the veteran is not
buried in a national cemetery or other cemetery under the jurisdiction
of the United States Government. Burial in a State, County or Municipally owned cemetery does not bar payment of the plot or interment
allowance. If the cost of the grave, mausoleum space, columbarium
niche or any other place of final disposition has not been paid, the plot
or interment allowance is applicable thereto up to $150.00. If the
amount unpaid is less than $150.00 then the balance between the unpaid amount and $150.00 can be applied to other funeral and burial
expenses, whatever they may be. If there are no unpaid plot, grave,
mausoleum, columbarium niche or other place of disposition expenses,
the entire $150.00 may be used for other expenses, including those relating to the funeral, cremation, interment receptacle, transporation
and the like.
IN SERVICE DEATH BENEFIT: Public Law 9343 also provides that
when a veteran's death is service connected, burial and funeral expenses
may be paid in an amount of $1,100.00 and is in lieu of the $300.00
basic burial allowance and the $150.00 plot interment allowance.

8

�TRANSPORTATION: Transportation costs, when payable, are in addition to the non-service and service connected benefits.
A BURIAL FLAG: This is available for draping the casket of a wartime veteran, a veteran discharged or released because of a service connected disability, or a veteran who has served at least one enlistment.
The flag is presented to the next of kin following burial.
BURIAL IN NATIONAL CEMETERIES: This is available to any veteran of a war-time or peace-time service whose last period of service
(other than for training) terminated honorably. Reservists who die
while performing active duty for training, an eligible veteran's wife,husband, widow, widower, minor children, and under certain conditions,
unmarried adult children are also eligible. U.S. citizens who served in
time of war in the Armed Forces of an Allied Government may also be
eligible. All expenses incident to the grave site and actual interment are
provided without charge. Application should be made at the time of
the veteran's death.
HEADSTONE OR MARBLER: The government will furnish, free of cost
a headstone, or marker to be placed at the unmarked grave of a member
of the Armed Forces of the United States or the Confederate States of
America who died in service or whose last discharge was honorable. The
next of kin has a choice of four different markers or headstones at the
time application is made. Upon application, a monetary reimbursement
is now available to families wishing to purchase a monument or marker
other than the one provided by the Veterans Administration.
UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT L I F E INSURANCE: It should be
determined first if the veteran carried this insurance as a result of an
option after leaving actve duty. Application and information for filing
claims for U.S. Government life Insurance should be obtained from
the nearest Veterans Administration office. Forms may also be obtained by writing to the Veterans Administration, Washington, D.C.
20420.
DEATH PENSION: A (Non-Service-Connected Death) pension is payable to eligible unremarried wodows and minor children of deceased
war-time veterans, depending upon their income and, in some instances,
net worth. Minor children may be eligible even though the widow has
remarried or is ineligible because of income. A widower, under certain
conditions, may also be eligible.
DEPENDENCY &amp; INDEMNITY COMPENSATION: This is payable
to eligible widows, unmarried children under 18, children 18-23
if attending approved schools, certain helpless children and.

9

�dependent parents, for veteran's war-time or peace-time serviceconnected death after 1-1-57. Annual income of parents is an
eligibility factor. The widowerof a female veteran may qualify if heis
incapable of self-maintenance and was, at the time of her death,
permanently incapable of self-support due to physical or mental
disability.
D E A T H G R A T U I T Y : (Six Month's Pay of Deceased) is payable to a
deceasedveteran's spouse or children (parents, brothers, or sisters, if
designated by the deceased). Veteran's death must have occurred
while he was on active duty, active duty for training or inactive duty
training, or as a resuh of a service-connected cause within 120 days
after discharge. In no case will the amount be less than $800 or more
than $3,000.
G O V E R N M E N T SHIPS H O U S E H O L D E F F E C T S : When a
serviceman I dies on active duty, his dependent surviviors have one
year to arrange for shipment of their household goods, at government expense, to any destination they choose. The property may
include one automobile, if death occurs outside the continental
United States. The shipment is authorized from the last duty
location or from wherever the household effects may be stored. The
government also will pay storage costs for up to six months, in
connection with the shipment.
A D D I T I O N A L A L L O W A N C E : In some areas of the country at a
particular state or county level there is an additional death
allowance for the next of kin of a deceased veteran. It is advisable to
check with your funeral director or local Veterans Administration
office for a local clarification.
Note: A widow visiting a Veterans Administration office should have
with her as many of the following documents and facts as possible.
Do not delay contacting the office because all of the items are not
readily available.
1. Veterans Discharge
2. Veterans G . I . Insurance Policy if covered
3. Marriage or divorce certificate
4. Birth certificates of minor children or crippled children
5. Amounts of all Life Insurance
6. Amounts of all savings accounts, checking accounts, stocks,
bonds, etc.
7. Expenses of deceased's last illness

10

�8. Record of Social Security Payments
9. Certified copy of death certificate
iO. Copy of funeral statement

GUIDELINES FOR SELECTING A C E M E T E R Y PLOT
In the brief period between death and burial, cemetery plots and
graves are sometimes purchased by a family without careful thought
and often without a personal visit to the cemetery and later found to
be inadequate or undesirable.
Quite often persons buying cemetery plots in haste will not buy
enough graves, or they will purchase many more than the family will
ever utilize in future years. To avoid mistakes and to meet the
present and future needs of your family, the utmost consideration
should be given this decision.
When purchasing a cemetery plot, one should ascertain whether
the cemetery meets the requirement of the family's religion.
One should also determine just what restrictions, if any, the
cemetery might enforce in regard to the kind of outside burial vault
to be used and the type of monument or memorial to be erected.
Buying a cemetery plot for investment purposes is considered an
unwise practice. The majority of cemeteries retain the right to
repurchase a plot at the original price. For this reason, even though
the lot may have increased in value, there is rarely a profit realized
by the purchaser.
MONUMENTS OR M E M O R U L S
Within a very short time from now, you will be called upon by one
or more retail monument dealers, suggesting that you purchase a
memorial from them.
One should take particular care during this after period of
emotional strain to avoid the hasty purchase of memorials that are
of questionable quaHty or are priced beyond their means.
To give all cemetery plot owners general protection, most
cemeteries retain the right to approve the type of memorial to be
placed on a grave site. Some cemeteries have restrictions on size and
design of memorials, while others require that only a flush-with-theground bronze plaque be placed.
After determining if any cemetery restrictions prevail and
deciding just what your individual needs and desires are, H reputable
retail monument dealer should be contacted.
The quality, material, design, and craftsmanship of a memorial

11

�you are going to have erected permanently deserves very careful consideration.

WHAT DO FUNERALS COST?
In the realm of everyday living, you are constantly confronted with
the age-old question: HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? This holds true
whether you are purchasing an automobile, a house, a boat, television
set, or even something as small as a loaf of bread. You should likewise
be concerned with the question of cost in making funeral arrangements.
Funeral costs are no secret, but often are misleading by not being fully
explained at a time when it is difficult for families to understand.
Whether a funeral home uses a system of charging one price for the
complete funeral based on the casket selected, or they itemize their
charges individually, there are four basic factors that constitute the cost
of funerals. These are merchandise, professional services, use of funeral
home facihties, and cash expenditures.
MERCHANDISE: Merchandise may include such items as the casket
selected, the outside burial case or urn, clothing provided by the funeral
home, and memorial folders and-or acknowledgment cards.
PROFESSIONAL SERVICES: Professional services are the personal
services of your funeral director, and the arrangements and supervision
conducted by himself and his staff of personnel.
USE OF FUNERAL HOME FACILITIES AND EQUIPMENT: There
is a vast amount of cost involved on the part of your funeral director
in providing and maintaining a funeral home facOity capable of
satisfying the requirements of each and every family he serves. It is for
this reason the Funeral Home Facilities and Equipment category is
a pertinent factor in the cost of a funeral.
CASH EXPENDITURES: Cash expenditures that are occasionally
advanced to the family as a courtesy of the funeral home may include cemetery and crematory charges, clergy honorariums, church
offerings, limousines, flower cars, newspaper notices, certified death
transcripts, flowers, professional pallbearers, gratuities, etc. In certain
instances a state law or local policy may prohibit a funeral home from
extending a family cash advances.
In determining funeral expenses, consideration should be given to

12

�the assets of the deceased. Insurance, veteran benefits, social
security, and other resources is the basis for a family's ability to take
financial responsiblity for a funeral of a loved one.
QUESTIONS MOST F R E Q U E N T L Y A S K E D
ABOUT CREMATION

Q. Do we need a casket for a cremation service?
A. Since a cremation funeral service is the same as any other, the
casket is used in the same manner and for the same purpose. For
health and esthetic reasons, most crematoriums require that a
casket or some form of combustible container be used.
Q. Is a funeral director necessary?
A. His services are exactly the same as for other forms of care, and
his services are needed for the first call, embalming, casket
selection and conducting of the service.
Q. What authorization is required for cremation?
A. Specific requirements vary with the different states, but as a
general rule written instructions from the family and a permit
from the local health authorities are required for the protection of
the family, the crematorium and the public.
Q. What are cremated remains or cremains?
A. They are recognizable skeletal fragments of the human form
which weight from 6 to 12 pounds for adults, depending upon the
size of the individual. On the average they occupy about 175 cubic
inches of space. They are not "ashes" or "dust".
Cremation is not disposition; it is only a method for preparing the
remains for memorialization. They are still human remains, and
should be placed in a dedicated place such as a columbarium,
mausoleum, family plot in a cemetery or other places where they
will receive continuing care. In rare instances a deceased will
request that his cremains be strewn over a designated area. This
practice is by far not the most common, but is permitted by law in
some areas of the country.

13

�W H E N D E A T H OCCURS F A R AWAY
Because of temporary employment transfers, vacations, etc., a
death occasionally will take place far away from the deceased's
home. The distance factor automatically necessitates your home
town funeral director to call upon the professional services of an
associate at the place of death. He will direct the person called to
prepare the deceased for transfer, file all required permits and
authorizations, and make the necessary arrangements to have the
deceased transported home by funeral coach, airplane, or train
depending on the distance involved and the most effective mode of
transportation available. These additional services will be
reflected somewhat in the total funeral statement a next of kin will
receive at a later date.

MEMOS. .

14

�FRIENDS WHO ASSISTED
(Before, During &amp; After The Funeral)

Name

A s s i s t a n c e Given

15

Date
Thank You
Sent

�RELATIVES AND FRIENDS TO BE NOTIFIED
NAME 1.

ADDRESS -

TELEPHONE

NUMBER

Name
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16

PERSON

NOTIFIED

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Name
Address
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NOTIFIED

�FRIENDS WHO CALLED AT THE RESIDENCE

18

�AUTOMOBILE LIST
YOUR F U N E R A L D I R E C T O R W I L L B E I N T E R E S T E D T O KNOW T H E PROCESSION
OF CARS ON T H E D A Y OF T H E F U N E R A L . T H E S E TWO PAGES A R E D E S I G N E D
TO A I D B O T H YOU A N D HIM WITH T H E S E A R R A N G E M E N T S .

BEARERS

3RD CAR

Make of Car

Make of Car

D r i v e r ' s Name

D r i v e r ' s Name

1ST CAR

4 T H CAR

Make'of Car

Make of Car

D r i v e r ' s Name

D r i v e r ' s Name

2ND CAR

5 T H CAR

Moke of Car

Make of Car

D r i v e r ' s Name

D r i v e r ' s Name

19

�6TH CAR

8 T H CAR

Make of Car

Make of Car

D r i v e r ' s Name

D r i v e r ' s Name

7 T H CAR

9 T H CAR

Make of Car

Make of Car

D r i v e r ' s Name

D r i v e r ' s Name

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

D A T E SENT

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

1.

7.

2.

8.

3.

9.

4.

10.

5.

11.

6.

12.

20

D A T E SENT

�RECORD OF TELEPHONE CALLS
AND TELEGRAMS RECEIVED

FROM WHOM

ADDRESS

21

Telephone

Telegram

�RECORD OF FLOWERS - MASS CARDS
You w i l l w a n t to keep a record of f l o r a l a r r a n g e m e n t s . Moss cards and other
memorials sent by your r e l a t i v e s and f r i e n d s . The f o l l o w i n g pages w i l l a s s i s t you
in the a c k n o w l e d g e m e n t of a l l of these e x p r e s s i o n s of s y m p a t h y .
DATE THANK
F R O M WHOM
DESCRIPTION
YOU SENT
1.
2.
3.
4.

5.
6.
7.

8.
9.
10.

n.
12.

13.
14.

15.
16.
17.

18.

22

�AND MEMORIALS RECEIVED
N O T E : If you number a l l the cards off the f l o w e r s given to you by your funeral
d i r e c t o r , and l i s t them a c c o r d i n g l y on these pages, you may then refer to
one p a r t i c u l a r card that has a m u l t i p l e l i s t i n g .
F R O M WHOM

DESCRIPTION

19.
20.
21.

22.
23.

24.
25.

26.
27.
28.
29.
30.
31.

32.
33.

34.
35.
36.

23

DATE THANK
YOU SENT

�F R O M WHOM

DESCRIPTION

37.
38.
39.

40.

41.
42.
43.

44.

45.
46.

47.

48.
49.

50.
51.
52.
53.
54.

55.
56.

24

DATE THANK
Y O U SENT

�FROM WHOM

DESCRIPTION

57.
58.
59.

60.
61.

62.
63.
64.
65.

66.

67.
68.
69.

70.
71.
72.
73.
74.

75.
76.

25

DATE THANK
YOU S E N T

�SYMPATHY CARDS RECEIVED
YOU

UNDOUBTEDLY

THE

CARDS

IN

OF

WILL

SYMPATHY

KEEPING AMORE

WANT

COMPLETE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

TO

SENT TO

PERSONALLY
YOU. THESE

RECORD

SENT.

OF

ACKNOWLEDGE

CARDS RECEIVED

OF

YOU

AND

DATE
YOU

26

SOME

PAGES W I L L ASSIST

THANK
SENT

�SYMPATHY CARDS RECEIVED
YOU

UNDOUBTEDLY

THE

CARDS

IN

KEEPING

OF

WILL

SYMPATHY

A MORE

WANT

TO

PERSONALLY

SENT

TO

YOU. THESE

COMPLETE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

RECORD

OF

ACKNOWLEDGE
PAGES WILL

CARDS

RECEIVED

YOU

27

OF

YOU

AND

nA-rir

SENT.

SOME

ASSIST

TUAMi,SENT

�SYMPATHY CARDS RECEIVED
YOU

UNDOUBTEDLY

THE

CARDS OF

IN

WILL

SYMPATHY

WANT

KEEPING A MORE C O M P L E T E

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

TO

SENT TO

PERSONALLY
YOU. THESE

RECORD

SENT.

OF

ACKNOWLEDGE

CARDS RECEIVED

OF

YOU

AND

DATE
YOU

28

SOME

PAGES W I L L ASSIST

THANK
SENT

�E T I Q U E T T E QF A C K N O W L E D G M E N T
We hope the following suggestions will prove helpful in
acknowledging the various expressions of sympathy you receive
during your bereavement.
The acknowledgments you receive from your funeral director
should be sent within ten days or two weeks after the funeral. In
order to give your expression of gratitude a more personal touch, a
few words may be written on the inside of these Acknowledgments.
This tends to make the recipient feel that one's thanks are as personal as if they had been expressed verbally.
C L E R G Y - Send a personal note (not a printed Acknowledgment)
thanking him for his consolation. If an offering is sent it should be
sent separately from the note.
E X A M P L E : Dear Mr. Smith or Dear Father Smith (not Dear
Reverend or Dear Rev. Smith). My husband and I wish to thank
you for the consolation you gave us during our most trying times.
Your comforting words during the funeral service will help us
tremendously.
B E A R E R S - (including honorary but not professional). Include a
message of thanks for their time and services in the
Acknowledgment.
E X A M P L E : Thank you for your kindness in acting as a pallbearer
for Father. Being one of Dad's closest friends made this very
meaningful to us.
L E T T E R S - - Replies may be brief, and written on an
Acknowledgment. At a later date you may feel more like writing a
longer note to particular persons sending letters.
E X A M P L E : Thank you for your kind words of sympathy. It is so
nice to have friends like you.
T E L E G R A M S - A few words on an Acknowledgment if you wish
is sufficient.
E X A M P L E : Your telegram was most appreciated.
F L O W E R S - A personal message may be written on the
Acknowledgment if you wish.
E X A M P L E : The vase of Roses you sent for Dad was beautiful.
M E M O R I A L S - Treat the same as flowers.
E X A M P L E : The contribution you made to the community hospital
in Dad's memory was greatly appreciated.

29

�SYMPATHY CARDS - If there is a personal message on the card and
you feel you should answer it, you may do so on an Acknowledgment.
It is not necessary to acknowledge a plain sympathy card.
E X A M P L E : Your comforting words during this time were most
helpful.
E X P R E S S I O N S O F S Y M P A T H Y F R O M AN ORGANIZATION
- Send an Acknowledgment to the President or Secretary of the
organization and include in the message reference to the other
members.
E X A M P L E : Dear President Jim: The vase of Red Roses sent for
Dad by the members of the Nowhere Rotary Club was greatly
appreciated.
E X P R E S S I O N S O F S Y M P A T H Y F R O M AN UNORGANIZED
G R O U P - When a group of neighbors, employees, etc., send an
expression of sympathy, send an Acknowledgment to everyone listed
on the card.
F R I E N D S WHO V O L U N T E E R E D S E R V I C E S , CARS, OR
SENT F O O D - A personal note on an Acknowledgment is
satisfactory.
The following are suggestions of classifiednewspaper-typethankyous oftentimes used in addition to regular Acknowledgments.
C A R D O F THANKS
The family of Charles M. Smith wish to thank their relatives,
friends, and neighbors for their kindness during their recent
bereavement.
C A R D O F THANKS
The kindness and sympathy shown to us by our family and friends
during this time of sorrow will always be remembered by the family
of John J. Doe.
C A R D O F THANKS
I wish to express my sincere thanks to all my relatives, friends,
and neighbors for all their kindness and sympathy during the illness
and death of my beloved husband John Doe. Special thanks to Rev.
John Smith and the Nowhere Funeral Home.
Mrs. John Doe

30

�C A R D OF THANKS
We wish to express our deepest gratitude to all our friends and
neighbors for flowers, food, cards of sympathy, and memorials sent
at the time of the loss of our wife and mother Mary M. Smith. A
special thanks to the Smithtown Hospital staff. Dr. Jones, Rev.
Brown, and the Green Funeral Home. It is such a comfort to know
so many people share our loss.
The Family

PALLBEARERS TO BE ASKED

L I S T T H E P A L L B E A R E R S OF YOUR C H O I C E A N D A L T E R N A T E S FOR THOSE
WHO MAY B E U N A B L E T O S E R V E . YOUR FUNERA L D I R E C T O R W I L L WANT
TO KNOW YOUR S E L E C T I O N S , A N D W I L L ASSIST IN T H E S O L I C I T A T I O N OF
THEIR SERVICES.
DATE THANK
YOU SENT

PALLBEARERS
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

A D D I T I O N A L P A L L B E A R E R LISTINGS OR A L T E R N A T E S
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

31

�CHECKLIST OF FUTURE OBLIGATIONS AND
APPOINTMENTS

NAME

Telephone
No.

Dote

Completed

Doctor
Hospital

Nursing Home
Clergyman
Cemetery

Funeral Director
Registrar (Town C l e r k )

Lawyer
Social Security O f f i c e

Veterans A d m . O f f i c e
Florist

Motor V e h i c l e Bureau
Insurance Company

Banks

•

Monument Dealer

32

�RECORD OF FOOD RECEIVED AT THE RESIDENCE.
RECORD EACH GIFT OF FOOD RECEIVED BY INSERTING DONOR'S
NAME IN NUMERICAL ORDER AND PLACING A CORRESPONDING
NUMBERED STICKER ON DISH
Nos.

Date
D e s c r i p t i o n of Food Sent Thank You
and Kind of Container
Sent

Name

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24

33

�Nos.

D e s c r i p t i o n of Food Sent
And Kind of Container

Nome

25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
34

Date
Thank You
Sent

��" G o placidly amid the noise and haste and remember
what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible
w i t h o u t surrender be on good terms w i t h all persons.
Speak y o u r t r u t h q u i e t l y and clearly; and listen to others,
even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
A v o i d loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the
s p i r i t . If y o u compare yourself w i t h others, you'" may
become vain and bitter; for always there w i l l be greater
and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy y o u r achievements as well as. y o u r plans. Keep interested in your o w n
career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of t i m e . Exercise caution in your business
affairs for the w o r l d is f u l l of t r i c k e r y . But let this not
blind y o u t o what virtue there is; many persons strive
for high ideals, and everywhere life is f u l l of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign a f f e c t i o n . Neither be
cynical about love; for in the face of all a r i d i t y and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take k i n d l y
the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the
things of y o u t h . Nurture strength of spirit to shield y o u
in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself w i t h
imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle w i t h yourself.
Y o u are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and
the stars; y o u have a right to be here. A n d whether or not it
is clear to y o u , no d o u b t the universe is unfolding as it
should. Therefore be at peace w i t h G o d , whatever y o u
conceive h i m to be, and whatever your labors and
aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace w i t h
your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful w o r l d . Be careful. Strive to be h a p p y " .

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          <description>The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.</description>
          <elementContainer>
            <element elementId="50">
              <name>Title</name>
              <description>A name given to the resource</description>
              <elementTextContainer>
                <elementText elementTextId="602">
                  <text>Photography &amp; Streographs</text>
                </elementText>
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            </element>
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    </collection>
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      <name>Still Image</name>
      <description>A static visual representation. Examples of still images are: paintings, drawings, graphic designs, plans and maps.  Recommended best practice is to assign the type "text" to images of textual materials.</description>
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        <description>The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.</description>
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          <element elementId="50">
            <name>Title</name>
            <description>A name given to the resource</description>
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                <text>Black &amp; White Kathryn Furbush Kindergarden Class 1960-1961</text>
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          </element>
          <element elementId="41">
            <name>Description</name>
            <description>An account of the resource</description>
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                <text>A black &amp; white photograph of the Kindergarten Class of Saint Peter's School. The school year covered was the 1960-1961. This school year was the class of Kathryn Furbush, who is in the photo along with the rest of her kindergarten class. Also seen in the photo are decorations, flowers, a Catholic priest, and Catholic nun.&#13;
&#13;
Size: 8" x 10"&#13;
&#13;
Condition: Very Good. Some small tears of the photo at the very edges close to the corners. one fold scar upper left corner of photo.&#13;
&#13;
&#13;
FHS- Kyle Leach</text>
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          </element>
          <element elementId="40">
            <name>Date</name>
            <description>A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="3664">
                <text>June 4, 1961</text>
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            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="37">
            <name>Contributor</name>
            <description>An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
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                <text>The Kathryn Furbush Collection</text>
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          <element elementId="96">
            <name>Date Valid</name>
            <description>Date (often a range) of validity of a resource.</description>
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                <text>1960-1961</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
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        <name>community</name>
      </tag>
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        <name>event</name>
      </tag>
      <tag tagId="15">
        <name>people</name>
      </tag>
      <tag tagId="279">
        <name>photograph</name>
      </tag>
      <tag tagId="454">
        <name>photography</name>
      </tag>
      <tag tagId="180">
        <name>school</name>
      </tag>
      <tag tagId="59">
        <name>students</name>
      </tag>
    </tagContainer>
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